healing

First of all, I have to thank you all very much for the kind comments and emails I've received over the last week or so. It's frankly shocking how many people have been touched by miscarriage, personally or otherwise. I wouldn't wish it on anybody but it's comforting in a way to know how common it is.

So how am I doing? Now that's an interesting question, one which I thought I had the answer to. Yesterday morning I replied to most of the emails I'd received, saying that I was surprised at just how well I was doing - freakishly well, in fact. I somehow managed to schedule a fully packed week this week and that is doing a great deal of good. Of course, just hours after I sent those emails out, I had a full-on breakdown and was useless for the rest of the day.

Perhaps we should just say that I'm getting there, and leave it at that. We're choosing to say that yesterday afternoon I had a "hormonal day." I guess they're still out of whack, those crazy hormones.

And what have I been doing this wacky busy week? Well, I've been writing - twelve articles so far and three more to go, on an assignment that took much, much longer than it should have. Plus I attended a very interesting seminar in Troyes Tuesday morning (more on that to come) and then took the car in for its two year inspection in the afternoon. Plus we'd decided that we were going to make cookies for all the in-laws for Christmas (that's still five families, including Stéph's parents!) and I really wanted to make my Dad's famous Christmas Crescent Cookies, which we road tested last week and Stéph took the results to work. The only problem is that they require 2 cups of crushed to nearly powder pecans for each batch. Pecans in France are brutally expensive, and if I bought enough for five batches it would have cost me 32€ for the pecans alone! So we're going with walnuts. But this means I've been cracking open walnuts and crushing them in my handy nut crusher (tee hee!) every day and I still have plenty of nuts to crush (ha!). The real shame is that my grandmother has more pecans than she can handle thanks to three or four pecan trees at the farm and there are literally buckets of the things lying around. If only we'd thought of it in advance! Oh - I'm also determined to finish Stéph's sweater before Monday evening, even though I only discovered this weekend that I'd knitted the wrong size sleeves and had to start them over.

See? Totally busy.

Tomorrow I'm going to Stéph's work Christmas lunch at one of the few nice restaurants here in Tiny Town. I'm really touched that Stéph insists on including me in these outings, especially since it's at lunchtime I'm sure to be the only spouse there. The best part is that the menu is done in advance, and Stéph forgot to bring me the menu to choose, so he chose for me based on what I don't like. For example, he chose the meat meal because he knows I don't like fish, and the foie gras entrée because I can't stand salade de gesiers. That made me smile today.

Ooh but this didn't - at lunch Stéph came home and told me that we were invited out to a colleague's home for dinner tomorrow night. The invitation was actually made last week, and he does this all the freaking time, but I'm so thrilled to be going out that I really don't care. The only problem is that he volunteered an apple pie, and guess who gets to do that tomorrow? Well, at least we know I'm not having a hormonal day, since I took the news in stride.