Oh yes we did, my friends. Let me start off by saying that it was not an accident-inflicted panicky emergency room visit, thank goodness. If you're a parent you might get a kick out of this, and if you're not... well, let's call it a cautionary tale. I'm including some nitty gritty details but I'll warn you if you want to skip the icky stuff.
Our dear son Fry has had problems with his nose for quite a while now. He fights us when we want to wipe his nose, never mind trying to blow his nose, and even trying to wipe his face after a meal is a challenge. Recently he's been suffering from rosy liquid coming from one particular nostril, but even our doctor assured us that it was probably just the inside of his nose being raw from having a stuffy nose for so long.
So cut to last night, when Stéphane was trying to wipe Fry's nose (i.e. had him pinned down on the couch armed with a tissue while Fry screamed bloody murder) and noticed something. A white something. In Fry's nose.
Admittedly, what happened next is absolute folly, but a million light bulbs suddenly came on as we realized that our son has been suffering for quite some time and whatever is stuffed up into his head needed to come out now. So we tried to pin him down while Stéphane tried to get anywhere near his nose with a set of tweezers.
Once we realized we were getting nowhere, we took a break for dinner and then took the next logical step: went to the emergency room. Of course, we don't have a hospital anywhere near us, so off we went to the main Troyes hospital.
We arrived at 7:30 and, for the next three and a half hours, tried to keep Fry entertained. Of course he was nearly asleep when we were called back at last to see the doctor and poor Fry quickly understood why we were there. It took three of us to hold him down while the doctor went at it with a larger pair of tweezers, and though he was able to get out a small morsel, he said we needed to go up to the doctor on call in charge of the vacuum and suck whatever was up there out. Oh, apparently the doctor believed it was a piece of candy.
When he said that, Stéphane and I looked at each other in total puzzlement. Now, here is a good moment to explain why the hell we were completely lost when it comes to Fry and the bonbon up the nose. First of all, from the time Fry was a teeny baby, he didn't like us messing about with his nose. I even tried one of those sucker things for sucking out mucus, recommended from a friend who's son loved it as a baby, but no dice. Secondly, we have never seen Fry put anything in his nose, ever. Hardly ever his own fingers, even. Thirdly, we don't even have candy in the house! We're just not bonbon people. Chocolates? Yep. Salty snacks? You've got our number. That, my friends, is how we managed to miss every single red flag that got us to this point.
Anyhoo, we went up to the third floor to wait for the doctor on call. Warning: here's the gory stuff, if you're sensitive to that, think about kittens and rainbows and skip to the next paragraph! Now it was just Stéphane and I to hold down Fry, and let me tell you, that kid is freakishly strong! We managed to do it, even with the doctor's rudeness (seriously dude, I know it's midnight and you're on call, but he's two, give me a freaking break here). Before long, the doctor sucked out not one but two somethings about half an inch long each. Of course Fry was screaming bloodly murder the whole time (and can you blame him?) but Stéphane and I remarked today that there was a moment where, when one of the pieces were pulled out, Fry seemed to pause his screaming to kind of go, "Oh." Of course he bled like a stuck pig afterwards, but he was quickly patched up and we were released, a mere five hours after we arrived.
(The non-gory version: yucky things were removed, all is well.)
There was a moment during our wait that we questioned coming to the hospital for this, but we reasoned that our doctor wouldn't have the equipment necessary so we'd have to come anyway, plus the fact that it was so late definitely played in our favor (Fry was quite strong a midnight, imagine if it had been during his prime time!), plus we could take advantage of the fact that Stéphane is on vacation right now so we could all sleep in today. In any case, we don't regret it, and Fry seems to be just fine today, even if he's a little jumpy, as if we may whisk him away at any moment to perform brain surgery. Poor kid.