i don't even like eggs that much

(i'm) one egg short of a carton
Originally uploaded by vivienfrance.

I did my weekend shopping at the local grocery this afternoon. When I got to the cashier, I realized I hadn't checked the eggs to be sure they weren't cracked. I opened the carton and sure enough, one had a little crack in it. The cashier was wrapping up a transation with the person in front of me so I just said that I was going to go exchange the eggs. She asked me why, and when I replied that one of them were broken, she motioned to give them to her so they wouldn't go back on the shelf for someone else to pick up (duh). With that, I scurried to the back corner of the store (where items you need when you're standing at the cash register are always magically placed), scurried back with a new carton of (checked) eggs, and this should be the end of a tale in which I crow about my confidence in speaking to the cashier (I always stutter and can never think on my feet in French).

Oh, but no.

I was putting my items in my bag and I picked up the last item - the new carton of eggs - and promptly and spaztasticly flipped them onto the floor.

"Truly, it wasn't the eggs," said the cashier.

"Oh, but yes it was," I replied, now trying not to burst into maniacal laughter.

The cashier came around to clean up the spill (there's no "clean up in aisle five" in these parts) and I scurried off for yet another carton of eggs, before the cashier could stop me. When I got back, she simply replaced the one broken egg from the first carton with one of the eggs that somehow managed to survive the fall unscathed. The end, right?

Come on, you know me better than that.

It was raining by the time I got outside, so I made a quick dash to the shopping cart hook-up, hoisted my bag out and snapped my cart in place, dashed to my car, set the bag in the backseat and jumped in the front seat. As I approached the exit of the parking lot, I had to make a left turn. The bag shifted enough that one sole item flipped out of the bag and into the floorboards.

Yes, you guessed it.

So I ended up with five eggs anyway. Good thing I needed exactly five for the dining extravaganza I'm planing for the in-laws this weekend. Next time, I'm not even gonna look. Taking my chances has to be better than the egg dancing I did this afternoon!